• Inspiration

    All Bee, No Bumble

    A bee literally works itself to death. However, the little yellow and black critter that buzzes through the flowerbeds could teach her more about herself than she might realise. Basically yes, she did google deep dive bees. Only because she admires how their sole purpose in life is focused around their hive, their queen, their environment. They’re willing to pay the ultimate sacrifice to protect it all. The more she googled the more she realised they’re just like her. Her heart is the hive.  Inside her hope, her inspiration and dreams are protected. She spends her life building. Morals, ambitions. In a typical beehive, there is a hierarchy. The Queen produces offspring…

  • Anxiety

    Sandy Toes

    Sand between her toes. Each little grain holds purpose. A thousand small particles bound together to create something massive. This is where she goes to feel peace. Battered by the tide, carried by the wind and pushed down by kids when moduled into castles. The endurance sand had made her feel empowered. The smell of salt and crashing sound, the feel of the texture and taste of fresh air. The beach was her solitude. Seagulls siren call, begging for chips. The laughter of children trying to outrace waves. It fades to the distance. Life had been difficult for her lately. Bills piled up, the washing never seemed done. The assignments…

  • Relationships

    Goodbye

    Wheels across the vinyl floor and chatter surround the room. It’s loud enough to hear but she doesn’t. The board informs of most recent arrivals and departures. It’s lit up, bright yellow. Impossible to miss. It’s easy enough to see, but she doesn’t. Tighter her arms wrap around her waist. As if trying to soothe herself subtly. She tries to take away the anxiety. The buzz of the airport should be something she is use to. There’s no way of every getting comfortable with the familiarity. The planes can take you anywhere you would like to go. Paradise, adventure. They also can take you away from someone you love. Once…

  • Anxiety

    Picture perfect

    Sixteen selfies. She has sixteen selfies to pick from. Her chin is angled differently in each picture. Strands of hair frame her face in different ways. The light appears brighter in some. The background is unique enough. She had found a nice bush in the garden with several purple flowers. It provided context that she wasn’t even aware of. The context which said effort. The context which displayed creativity and imagination. Either of which she didn’t recognise. Both of which she relied on others to recognised. She was playing the process of elimination. Which picture made her nose look bigger, which picture made her teeth look less white? What picture…

  • Relationships

    The gap you left behind

    Nothing in the world prepares you. Even though you see it coming. You’re always caught off guard. The pain is unique. Not something that can be compared. It’s not sudden like the pain of a boyfriend choosing her over you. It’s a lot slower than that. The pain that grows and you ignore. Until it consumes you. It’s not a matter of if. It’s a matter of when. No real answer to the why. No real understanding of the how. It’s a loneliness I wish that I never had to meet. For months you think it’ll be okay. It’s a bump in the road that you’d both envisioned together for…

  • Anxiety

    Anxiety – Guest Post

    Anxiety is something that I’ve loved with for a fair few years. It was always heightened at University and school. The pressure of exams and getting amazing grades always saw me buckle. However looking back I can see how insignificant that amazing mark is. How little of a part it played in the grand scheme of things. The hustle didn’t need a high mark to be proven as dedication. Guest Post I wrote this guest post for ‘Living Behind Orange Walls‘ to try convey what a panic attack meant to me in these moments. Mostly how I got through them. Family, friends and support got me through. With graduation from…

  • Relationships

    Shades of Red

    She sees them both as red. She didn’t know there were so many shades. The primary colour she first learned about as kindergarteners can create purple or orange if mixed with another. It can be made lighter or darker. She’s no artist. She can barely draw a stick figure. But for each shade of red a memory forms. It starts off as rose.  Romantic. Not too powerful. A slight dash of pink to soften. That’s how it started. His scent was welcoming just like the flower. But the colour brought to mind the simple days. Where falling in love was gentle. It didn’t take long. She thought that it was almost embarrassing…

  • Relationships

    Bandaid – Guest Post

    Why can’t she love him? What changed? Falling out of love is scarier than falling in love. How do you put into words what you’re feeling? How do you make the decision that’s right for you? Do you hurt his feelings or is that just collateral? Please check out my latest post HERE on Phonic Words. Make sure you also read my previous post, butterflies also.

  • Inspiration

    What’s your biggest weakness?

    Her shoes clicked against the pavement. With each step, her nerves chewed at her stomach. It was one of the 200 jobs she’d applied for since graduating two months ago. She had been applying to whatever she could. Regardless if she met the description and requirements or not. She’d googled “how to make your resume stand out” and “what should I wear for an interview” more times than she could count. All to be sure she’d have the right answers. Using a youtube tutorial she had tried to recreate a hairstyle. It was to the best of her ability. Stray hairs were already falling from pins. Don’t even ask how…

  • Relationships

    The Car

    The car. That’s where this all started. Not in a mind in the gutter kind of way either. No lookout, no picturesque view. A simple patch of dirt on the side of the road. Just the smell of exhaust that lingers, left over from when he cut the ignition. The dust is still settling. The tension between them is thick. Her eyes search for some distraction. Something else to focus on. He clears his throat snapping her gaze back to him. “I can’t anymore.” Three words. She’s too young to be this broken. She knew it was coming but the blow still hurt. “It’s not you. It’s me.” She can…