As far as beauty goes, I’m pretty lazy. I mean I brush my teeth and shower daily, but that’s hygiene. I don’t think society tolerates laziness in that department and I accept that.
I’ve found an ability to ignore any expectation as far as beauty goes. I wake up most mornings at 6am, but occasionally it can swing either way. This can mean I get a sleep in until 8am or have a 3:30am wake up call. This is what a career in the media means.
I do put effort into my appearance, and never leave the house before looking in the mirror; I just tend not to worry about what others think of me. I sit on the train day dreaming about sleeping, not worrying about if my hair looks oily.
I have always dubbed beauty guru as a career I couldn’t commit to. I’m lazy and way too cash deprived for that lifestyle. Don’t get me wrong, I can easily walk into Sephora and walk out with $400 worth of product. As I walk I hear the sound of my bank card sizzling from the heated swipe it received in the eftpos machine.
Here are just a few things I suck at committing to or simply produce well when it comes to female requirements.
It’s straightened before bed or top knot kind of situation. I once thought I needed to brush my hair 100 times a day to make it grow and be beautiful. That might work for Rapunzel, but she doesn’t leave the house. A brush either causes incredible frizz or rips at my knots which is tremendously unpleasant. For this reason, I make my boyfriend brush my hair. Its incredible relaxing. I only ask him to do it when it’s incredibly smooth, because I love when people play with my hair. If I get him to brush it and spin some excuse that I can’t get the knots out, I get 5 minutes worth of hair play time.
As for washing, dry shampoo is my savior. Without that can of heaven I’d be oily enough to cook bacon. Second to the dry shampoo is the top knot. It’s the Holy Grail hairstyle that almost every girl has nailed in their own quirky way. It’s the international recognised hairstyle for “I don’t care.” Clearly it’s a hit, because its gender equal with men sporting the hairstyle too, only their look isn’t for a lack of care. They prefer the style the look graces. Hair is simply one of those things I allocate two minutes. Any more and it probably means I have the day off. I’ve attempted the 2 minute hairstyles beauty gurus boast. They obviously have a different timer to me.
My favorite make up look is the one where I wear none. I simply replace makeup most of the time with a decent skin care routine. I ensure to wash my face in the shower before bed, and on a morning right after my teeth am brushed. That reduces the need for coverage. I simply apply lip balm and mascara and I’m off. If I occasionally need more, I’ll mix my favourite BB cream and moisturiser together and apply the bare minimum. I am aware that makeup is important to most girls, but for me I only wear a full face of makeup if I’m going to look after it. I often forget to pack powder or gloss and end up getting only a few hours of wear from my makeup. Between running for transport and sweating at work from stress it ends up a streaky mess. I would rather go without. Makeup is used to enhance beauty, not enhance your rushed commute to the office
I wore this last week. I have a washing machine. I don’t need to be told that I’m not cool because I wore these shoes yesterday. When I was in high school I did a week of work experience at a magazine for teenagers. All of my friends read it, and I was pretty lucky to score it. I had to wear the same pair of Target ballet flats, because it was all I could afford on my fast food employee wage. I was so anxious they’d think I was a flop. But in the end, it was my drive and work merit that saw me through. I was published and got my name in the front of the magazine. I rarely buy myself new outfits, and when I do I often wince at price tags which are labelled higher than $50 unless it’s a dress for a special occasion. I hold no shame for doing so. Besides, I always have my best friend’s closet.
I wear jeans and long pants in summer, braving the sweating heat in my haste to avoid shaving my legs. Considering I live in Sydney Australia, this gets difficult. However, I’m stubborn. Underneath the jeans or long pants I wear hides fur. I wish I could even consider that to be an exaggeration. I have a razor in my shower, and cream too. I’m just way too lazy to contort my body to shave my legs, avoiding ankle and knee cuts. My shower is cramped. I also tend to break out in the most aggravating rash from sensitive skin.
Aside from that is the upkeep of my brows. My tweezers are always missing. They are used once, and then they are sucked into some eyebrow black hole. That’s why I cover the hair caterpillars with concealer when required. I try my best to avoid waxing and convince myself it isn’t that bad. However, it can only go so far.
Beauty was never meant to be easy. Why did it seriously have to be this hard though?