Its an expectation that I go visit gym fairly frequently, despite how I feel about him. Gym is like a guy I can’t seem to fall in love with, but I know I need him in my life. I’ve dappled in affairs with dessert, but Gym has since forgiven me. We don’t really like to discuss it much because it stirs up ugly emotions.
However, my relationship with Gym isn’t all bad. He likes me when I look my worst and forgives me when I don’t visit him for a few weeks, even months. When I visit a few times a week I feel fulfilled and energised, however if I don’t feel like I’m receiving instant gratification I’m less likely to come back soon.
I hate when Gym gives his attention to somebody else. When several people visit using the weights I feel less special. However, when it’s just the two of us I am happy to explore and venture further into what he may have to offer me.
My girlfriends recommend workouts and try to coach me to try out their gyms. Pinterest suggests hairstyles and Instagram even suggests workout clothes. There is also an expectation that I match my visits with green smoothies and quinoa. Gym isn’t willing to try my favourite foods – chocolate and potato bake. He isn’t really open to negotiation.
No matter what I do or how many times I leave I’m surrounded by reminders of Gym. Whether it’s through fitness models boasting about their gym or when I wear my gym tights for casual attire. I continue to avoid the visit or cave and drop by.
I’ll never escape it and as much as I want to hate the gym, it will forever be reminiscent of a boyfriend that is overly clingy. It’s a loud ringing in my ear ensuring I remember that it’s there. I have a love hate relationship that never seems to be completely down the middle. It sways either way.
I find it difficult to find motivation at times and I also lack patience. This evokes an insane amount of guilt for failing to attend, or frustration at my lack of abs the next day. I know I’m not the only one who wishes that they would appear instantly. However, those people that have the bodies which us amateur gym goers aspire to have are temples of determination. The gratification of meeting the goal you made months ago is inspiring.
I have that quality in other areas. I’m determined about my career and my relationships with family, friends and my real boyfriend. Not having that towards the gym doesn’t make me a bad person and doesn’t make my body disgusting. I may enjoy the odd piece of cake, but I also enjoy fruit and veggies. It’s all done to doing my best and making the effort to try. For many fitness is a lifestyle, for me it’s a section of my life.
I think that the most important thing when it comes to fitness is finding it within yourself to make it happen. It’s about not being influenced by others too much. She may look beautiful, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. It’s what you define it to be. So what if that girl you have on Facebook looks like a Victoria Secret model? Good on them. That’s their achievement, and doesn’t detract from yours. A single push up can be a victory too. Remember, you’re not them! You’re you and you should be happy about that.
I have established the relationship I have with the gym. I experience booms and busts. That’s fine. I motivate myself with Pinterest workouts and quotes and ensure I compensate with at home workouts. I also try to keep busy in my day to day work life. I incorporate small things into my life such as parking further away from the mall, even though there are closer spots available. I make the effort to do one outdoors activity with my boyfriend each week. This could be a walk, a swim or shooting hoops. In my case missing. I do it my way. I don’t do it to look thin, I do it to maintain my wellbeing.
Fitness is a personal journey and it saddens me when people feel they need to be doing a particular routine to be categorised into a “fit” mould. I prefer to use the word “wellbeing.” I don’t think the gym is there to give you something, it’s there for what you give it. The gym won’t give you a glorious six pack, you do that. I find it better to look at the gym as a glass half full perspective. I go when I can and compensate for it when I can’t. I also push any negativity about that out of my mind, and neglect feelings of guilt.
My relationship with the gym may come to change one day. I might fall irrevocably in love with it or I could find an alternative. I’m open for change and open for possibility. I’m not going to lift a weight ten times, because someone on Instagram said it worked for them. It could work for someone else, but I don’t need a how to guide on how to be happy in my own skin. I write that guide myself based on trial or error. If I don’t visit the gym for two weeks and eat takeout the entire time, it may be bad for my health sure. However, that could be me focusing on the negative. Chances are I also walked my 10,000 daily steps, ate fruit constantly and drank 2L of water daily.
It’s important not to phase out the success and find where you slipped up instead. Find what you did well to motivate your next visit to Gym.