I wish friendships came with expiration date labels. Why? So when they run out you have some form of warning. That when it hits that date the shock isn’t so rude. It’s like when you pull out the milk you forgot about, you check the date and think ‘already? what a shame!’ Friends don’t come with any forewarning of expiration, because life is so unplanned.
Well, as a young 22 year old I wish I had taken more notice to the signs that the expiration date could come, warning or not. I wish I’d not brushed it off with excuses. I wish I hadn’t told myself that quantity means more than quality.
Friendship has a definition in the dictionary, however its interpretation differs person to person. One person might say it means solitude, another might say support. Some may say it’s a combination of all different things. For me, it means compassion, comfort and reliability. I don’t need to have regular hangouts with my friends, I just need to know they’re there in my hour of need. This definition matches up with the friends I have currently. They have a similar view.
My friendship goals have been set by Winnie the Pooh and Christopher Robin. Their love for one another is like no other. It’s a love I share with so many of my friends. Winnie and Christopher help each other through tough times, provide advice and don’t hold their mistakes against each other. Growing up watching their friendship put standards into place for mine. However, as I’ve grown those standards have developed and heightened.
Friendship as an adult is difficult. Especially when you’re a young one. You look back on playground days and expect it to be the same throughout your life. However, this reality doesn’t always ring true. Friendships change and that’s okay. Two roads don’t always diverge into one. Sometimes they grow further apart. This is something I’ve recently come to learn in a bitter way. I use to think my high school friends would be my friends for life. I thought that with elementary friends too. However, we age like cheese. Maturity times vary.
I’m a big believer in happiness is a choice. It’s a mantra I repeat to myself daily. I think that if a situation isn’t fulfilling you, the formula needs to change. You need to make a difference in your life to make it happier. Relationships should challenge you to be something more. If they aren’t fulfilling you, then change your attention to the ones that do. I won’t say this process is simple. It sucks.
Making changes to friendships and relationships in your life sucks. Making big changes like who you have around you means cutting some cords that might be frayed. It doesn’t always mean burning a bridge. However, repairing a bridge that has damage might not be worth the effort. What if building a new one all together could be more sturdy? Why stand on something that won’t support you, that will let you fall?
I’ve recently had to cut some ties, and it hurt. But once that pain starts to fade and you look at it as if you’ve turned a new leaf it gets better. It’s all about how you think. You learn to put that relationship aside for a later date or just consider it to be a necessary part of your journey in life.
I read once that friendships that last seven years don’t ever expire. I think this is incorrect. Like I said, friendships don’t come with an expiration date. One day you wake up, and suddenly it doesn’t work anymore. Suddenly, you change. Change is necessary, and it happens at different times for different people. My change began with changing the priority I give to the people around me. I realise now that quantity doesn’t mean quality all of the time. It’s a risk to put friendships aside or take them away completely, but if it’s going to shape you into being someone better then take that risk.
This friendship needs to go to the back of the fridge with the milk. This friendship has yet to expire.