Anxiety

Sandy Toes

Sand between her toes.

Each little grain holds purpose. A thousand small particles bound together to create something massive.

This is where she goes to feel peace.

Battered by the tide, carried by the wind and pushed down by kids when moduled into castles. The endurance sand had made her feel empowered.

The smell of salt and crashing sound, the feel of the texture and taste of fresh air. The beach was her solitude.

Seagulls siren call, begging for chips. The laughter of children trying to outrace waves.

It fades to the distance.

Life had been difficult for her lately. Bills piled up, the washing never seemed done. The assignments seemed never-ending, her relationships considered most valuable strained. A heartbreak she never imagined she’d go through.

Last week she missed her overdue phone bill again. She was in the warning stages.

Last week her university tutor gave her a lecture. She needed to pick up her game or face a less than impressive result.

Yesterday her friends couldn’t make the plans. She’ll never tell them how much she needed them there.

Yesterday he broke her heart.

She’s fragile.

It’s up to her now to handle herself with care. To remove herself from the pain and find the soothing. Here is where she can begin to heal and start the process of forgiveness even for those that don’t deserve it.

Returning to the coast switched off the overactive mind. The respite for her heart.

Lightly the wind blows her hair around her shoulders. The cool breeze welcomed on her skin.

Sometimes she wishes she could stay here permanently. This bite-size chunk off calm desperately searched for in reality. Rarely found.

Tonight the water was still. Slight movement as the waves crashed into the sand at her feet. As they retreated back to the ocean they took my anxiety, fear and tension with them.

Life gets intense. It gets difficult to handle. But she’s never given more than she can carry. It all has a purpose.

Taking a minute out of the crazy to return to the sea keeps her sanity afloat. The breath in and out deeper there. Shoulders sag a little more with the weight reduced.

No matter the curveball life decided to pitch at her she knows she has this place.

The place where the sand feels just perfect between her toes.


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